Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
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i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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