My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
