why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
