On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
