During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I am naked and annoyed.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
