Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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