Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
