a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
