I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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