I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
