M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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