i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
