too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
