ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
