Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize