I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize