Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
