How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
