so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
