he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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