She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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