It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
