Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
