Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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