batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
