Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
