im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
