Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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