You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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