i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
