3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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