dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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