after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
