Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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