I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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