She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
