Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
