It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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