Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize