U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This is the high leading the old right now
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
