It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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