turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
