Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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