ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
