Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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