I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
