just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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