For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
