I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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