he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
