Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
