Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm gonna fight the coyote
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
