She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize