Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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