he puts the penis in happiness.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
