I heard we made out
one might say we're banned from that church
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
