I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
