No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
