Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
