And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Girls should come with a carfax report
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
