My first STD was from a foam party
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
