everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
