i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
