Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
