Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize