Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
