yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
