She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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